Are you stuck on the relationship escalator? Here’s how to know

The relationship escalator, a term coined by Amy Gahran, is all about the societal expectations and steps that romantic relationships are often expected to follow. It’s a metaphor that says that relationships should follow a series of steps, moving right from casual dating to marriage and beyond.
According to relationship coach Siddharrth S Kummar, “The relationship escalator is a cultural construct that has evolved over time. It’s based on the idea that a healthy relationship should follow a specific path, with each step leading to a deeper level of commitment.”
The steps include from casual dating to marriage and children. “The typical steps of progression often involves specific stages like exclusivity, cohabitation, and marriage.” adds Kummar.
While the escalator can provide a roadmap for relationships, it’s important to recognize that it’s not a one-size-fits-all model. As Siddharrth S Kummar points out, “The relationship escalator often assumes a heterosexual, monogamous interaction, and can be limiting for those who don’t fit into this mold.”Identifying if you’re on the relationship escalator
If you feel like your personal needs and desires are being overshadowed by the pressure to conform to societal norms, it’s a strong indicator. “If you find yourself constantly comparing your relationship to societal expectations, feeling pressured to move forward at a specific pace, or experiencing anxiety or guilt about not adhering to the traditional relationship timeline, you may be caught up in the relationship escalator.” explains Kummar. Why is the escalator problematic?Although the relationship escalator offers a familiar path, it comes with several problems that can affect both personal happiness and relationships
Limits personal freedom and choice: The escalator can create pressure to conform to societal expectations, limiting individuals’ freedom to choose their own relationship path.
Invalidation of alternative relationship models: It can make people feel like their relationships are less valid if they don’t follow the traditional steps.
Assumes a uniform and linear path: Real-life relationships are often more complex and nuanced than the escalator suggests.
Promotes co-dependency: The escalator can encourage individuals to become overly dependent on their partners, leading to unhealthy dynamics.
Perpetuation of gender norms: The escalator can reinforce traditional gender roles and expectations.
Pressure to stay in toxic relationships: The fear of deviating from the escalator can keep people in unhealthy relationships.
If you feel trapped by the relationship escalator, here are some strategies to break free
Break free from the script: Don’t feel pressured to follow the traditional relationship playbook. Your love story can be unique.
Focus on yourself: Your happiness matters. Don’t let the relationship escalator overshadow your personal goals and dreams.
Talk it out: Open and honest communication is key. Discuss your feelings, expectations, and boundaries with your partner.
Explore your options: There’s no one-size-fits-all when it comes to relationships. Consider alternative models like polyamory or open relationships.